Happy 2020, soul family. I hope your new year is off to a magical start. It’s been an interesting ride on my end. I feel like time is moving incredibly fast, faster than ever. I’m never sure what day it is because a day feels like three. I’ve had so many incredible opportunities begin to come my way. Projects that I have been wanting to get off the ground are taking off at lightning speed. I am literally thinking about things I want to create and having the next step towards their fulfillment fall into my lap within hours. I am in the flow of creative energy, ideas are pouring in and it feels good, and scary, and overwhelming… so, I’m inhaling lots of oxygen, deep breaths and taking it one moment at a time.
I’m also really tired and sad. Anyone else? The energy that we are in right now is intense. We have an eclipse happening, tons of things “conjuncting” and doing their thing up there in the cosmos, fires burning a whole country, the possibility of war, not to mention, the energy of a brand new year and decade. It’s A LOT! I’ve been having wicked nightmares about war. Nightmares that hang with me for the whole day, where my whole body aches. My heart is broken for the people and animals of Australia. I have literally sat and bawled my eyes out, allowing myself to hold some of the heartbreak and grief for our world. Do you ever do that? Are you available for that type of space holding for others? Not everyone is, and that is totally ok. This kind of work, in my humble opinion, is not something you force and you always, ALWAYS respect yourself and your physical, emotional, mental and energetic health. AND if you are anything like me, this kind of work is a terrifying prospect. I am an incredibly sensitive being. Emotions hang with me for days, weeks. There are certain movies my husband won’t even let me watch anymore because I feel like I’ve fully lived them after watching them. I’ve turned away many a time, sheltering myself from pain. However, I have learned how to sit with pain, where in the past, I thought if I went into the pain, I would never be able to resurface. I have also learned that it is more painful to push the pain away than to acknowledge it and be with it. Eventually, we have to face it. As a collective, I feel that’s exactly what we have done. We have turned away from the pain for far too long and now look at us. For my heart, and I pray for yours too, there’s no turning away at this moment. We can not afford to turn away. The price is too high. If you are anything like me, you also can easily become paralyzed from the enormity of the darkness that is slamming us in the face right now. It’s so last decade to take the easy way out and remain paralyzed. Here’s what I discovered for myself the other day….
When I allowed myself to fully hold the grief for our world, when I allowed the emotion to move through me and tears to flow, I moved grief that had been burrowing itself inside of me for a long while. Australia and the photos from the fires became the trigger for my own grief and instead of trying to resist it, I let it come up and out and I then chose to consciously allow the grief of others to move through me too. We are not separate. We are DEEPLY connected and for me, the enormity of the grief I felt and still feel is another confirmation of that divine connection. Instead of turning away, if we are brave, we can turn towards the pain of others and allow it to open our hearts and to release pain that has been stagnant within our own being. Is it possible to see the gifts in the pain, the grief and the darkness?
This is what I do know…
It’s time to be the LovE in the world we want to see. It’s time to take action. From that paralyzed place, if you find yourself there, take one step forward, towards connection. Changing this world must begin with connection to self, to our heart, to something greater, to god. Then, we must take the next step towards connecting with friends and LovEd ones. Reach out, ask how people are. For some of us, even this step is difficult. I am one of those. One of my survival mechanisms is to retreat and hide away, and that is ok. Sometimes, it is what we need to do. AND I am challenging myself and you to chose differently, in order to move more into connection.
Volunteer. There are a gazillion places that need your hands, your energy, your heart.
Search out a community that shares your values. Plant yourself in uncomfortable places too. Talk to those who do not share the same views and LISTEN to learn, not to inject what you believe they should believe. I know, that can be challenging in these times, but let it be your practice of non judgment and expanding your heart.
Pray! Meditate! Send out LovE directly from your heart to those who need it. And while you are at it, send LovE to yourself. It’s ok to be selfish with your LovE too. YOU NEED YOUR LovE TOO. And if the word selfish triggers you… ok. Here’s a new spin on it for you… selfishness is being “centered in self.” It’s meeting our own needs and desires, loving on ourself as much as we LovE others. It’s being centered in our divine mind (heart), not our insane mind (ego). I would LovE for us as a collective to once and for all decriminalize the word “selfish” and make the distinction between being only of self interest and serving thy self, so that we may serve the world. Ok, tangent over.
It is time for us to end the epidemic of loneliness and disconnectedness and it all begins within. Some of us may be deep into the journey of self discovery, into the heart, into our connection with spirit and the universe and some of us may be just beginning. No matter where you are at, YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO OFFER THIS WORLD. You have a beautiful, beating heart that has the power to move mountains. Tap into it! Allow your life to be lived and guided from the heart space.
For those of us who have been on this journey for a while, I believe we have arrived at the time where we will now understand why we have been drug through the mud, danced with our shadow until our feet have bled, expanded the capacity of our heart to hold the depth of a broken world, of our own humanness and have been working to reclaim our greatness. It is all in order to give our gifts back to this world with great humility, without shame, without question. To usher in a new world, a new way of BEING. It is all to be a vessel, to be worked though, to trust so deeply in the divine plan and that which works through us.
So, can you turn your eyes and your heart towards the pain while also holding the deep knowing of a better day? Can you hold both selfishness (centered in self) and selflessness at the same time? Can you trust, moment to moment and become a vessel for the divine to work through? Can you share your gifts with the world without second guessing, without shame? Can you reach out and connect? With yourself? With others? With those who you do not understand? Fuck, as I write that my mind instantly points out how difficult that is, but the heart knows it’s possible. Everything we believe isn’t possible IS POSSIBLE, my friends. We have to make it so. It’s time to make it so. I LovE you.