Hate the Hate, LovE the Hater

Hate the hate, LovE the hater.

I have been posing the question to myself and to others ,”How far does your LovE extend?”

Extending LovE to those who have hurt us is what we are called to do. It’s the grace that leads us home. It’s an everyday practice of showing up for LovE and living in LovE. By extending LovE to those who have hurt us, it doesn’t mean we bypass the anger or suppress our feelings. We actually allow ourselves to feel the feelings. Moving through the feelings allows space for forgiveness and empathy.

I have learned, if the actions of another do not come from a place of LovE, it’s a calling out for LovE. Viewing the actions of others from that space really opens up the gates of leniency and seeing the lessons of what we personally internalize and absorb. In choosing LovE, we choose to see past the actions and limitations of our humanness and recognize our oneness as spirit.

I must say this kind of spiritual practice is one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I know in my heart it’s the right thing, to walk in peace and lightness instead of judgement and heaviness. I have done my share of getting it wrong and I have learned so much from my mistakes. They say hurt people, hurt people and so I am continually healing my own hurt and taking responsibility for my own pain in order to not hurt others. It’s something I challenge us all to do and not just do it half ass. I mean we need to really face ourselves and stop projecting our anger, pain and shame onto others.

So how far does my LovE extend? I am realizing mine is incredibly far reaching, but it’s only because I am continually doing the work on myself day by day, replacing the constricted thought process of fear with that of LovE. It is a work that must not be put on pause or set aside for any period of time. It’s painful, and a complete 180 degrees from existing in the victim roll. Taking a long, hard look at ourselves, our neurosis, our suffering and coming to the sobering realization that it is up to us, and only us to heal ourselves. It’s hard shit, but the only way to freedom.

Will we be disappointed at the twisting of innocence and the actions of others? Of course we will, but we will remain steadfast in LovE. My heart is on a trajectory of opening to all, extending LovE to all and we all know, once we set out on a mission we will be tested on the regular. So, let’s just keep walking on the side of the light and reminding ourselves that these tests are presenting us with a chance for the greater expansion of LovE.

This world needs LovErs. It’s time to get out of our heads and into our hearts. It’s time to show up for LovE.

What better time than now?




  • Girl…so much freaking yes to this!! I just reconnected with my Mom after over 2 years of not speaking by allowing myself to open up my heart, forgive, and heal. It’s definitely hard work and there’s a lot of feelings to work thru. I took a leap of faith and came to visit her and I’ve been here for over 2 weeks now. Reconnecting, loving on my adorable nephew, and allowing myself to extend the love as far as it can reach. You always say what I’m thinking/feeling, but put it in much better words than I can lol

  • I agree and it takes lots of work to not automatically jump to the defensive when someone does us wrong or intentionally or unintentionally hurts us. You’re leaps and bounds ahead of me in your journey but here’s the key, you at least make me stop and think. You give me things to ponder and look at little harder at myself. For that I thank you. It’s hard to turn the other cheek sometimes but with some hard work, I think I can face people and things head on with more love and forgiveness. xo – G

  • This brought tears to my eyes. I love this message. Really hit home. Thank you for your openess and for spreading love!!!!!

  • When someone puts me down, or even worse, thinks I’m not good enough- I reallyyyy want to send them the same message in return. It takes a lot of self-control, confidence, and practice to flip the switch and not go negative.

  • It makes so much sense to continually practice healing and taking responsibility for our own pain. Why must innocent bystandards be victimized by our sorrow, anger, sadness? It is truly a selfish act and one we must ALL work on to create more love, peace and harmony within and outside our being. Consistency is key in recreating our thought process in a way which will benefit our mind, body and soul.

  • I’m always in awe of the high road you try to take under the circumstances you’re always dealt. Keep putting YOUR family first and loving them like there was no tomorrow. Your happiness frightens those around you who can only muster up fake happiness due to deep seeded demons. You’re light and you’re love.

  • Beautifully put, and you are definitely leaps and bounds ahead of me too. I believe in forgiveness, however hard it may be at times, but extending love is a different matter. I suppose it depends on the situation. You’re incredibly strong to be able to do that.

  • Well said, ma’am! I was always taught that we can’t control what others do but we can control how we respond. And the way you respond says more about you than the actions against you. So always respond with compassion.

  • I have no idea how I ended up on this page but I’m so glad I did. I really needed this today and it was so beautifully written. One of the hardest things in life we are ever faced with is showing love to people who intentionally hurt us. I’m reminded of Jesus who said to love our enemies…when we arrive at that place of love, we can few those people not as enemies but as people who are hurting and lacking themselves and need love. Love is what holds us together as cheesy as it sounds. This was extremely motivating Mrs. Rimes Cibrian and I thank you for your courage in posting this and allowing yourself to be vulnerable in the hopes it can help others. I will challenge myself to love everyone even those who offend me this week. You ROCK MISSY!! XX

  • I feel like I am and have lived your life. I’ve been on a self healing adventure for a year and I feel like my eyes are just now opening. I want to love, by nature I’m a giver and that has hurt me in so many ways but I know now it’s not personal when others act out. They’re hurt and I see their pain.

  • Dear LeAnn,

    Thank you so much for these words. I find myself living kind of a similar life as yours, although my husband is the famous musician and producer, I am constantly under the haters loop. I am his second wife, also a stempmother of two, media crushed me as the homewrecker (which is not true but it looked that way)… and so on and so on….

    In the last two weeks we’re under media frenzy since the lead vocal left my husband’s band and guess what, again I’m the one to blame according to media. I cried all day because I’m a highly sensitive person, but I know I can control only my own reactions and send love to those who lack it.

    Blessings to you, it’s truly comforting to know I am not alone and that there is another public figure our there having a bit of a roller coaster, finding her way out of the rainy days.

    Valerija (Val) from Zagreb, (CROATIA)

Comments are closed.