LovE or Fear?

LovE or fear is what’s behind every one of our decisions. Think about it for a moment. Go through a day in your life and think about all the habitual decisions you make on the regular… the food you eat, the way you dress, whether or not you smile at people when you’re on your way to work… every little thing we do, every decision we make either comes from a place of LovE or fear.

Let’s take food for example. Is the food you’re putting in your body loving? Are you making loving decisions for yourself because you feel your body is beautiful,  important and deserving of nourishment, are you depriving it, afraid of becoming obese and “less loveable” or are you using food to sooth your emotional pain, adding on extra layers of body weight to confirm your subconscious belief that you’re not enough? There’s always a deeper belief driving us and until we uncover those deeper, unconscious beliefs, they will be steering the course of our lives, leaving us wondering why we aren’t living the life we desire.

So, to begin my excavation process and a deep dive into my yet unknown emotional world, starting today, I am doing a little experiment with myself. I am getting up every morning and setting the intention of paying close attention to my daily habits and choices, asking myself the simple question “am I making a loving choice or a fearful one?” If my choice is coming from a place of fear, I am pausing and asking myself what deeper emotion am I trying to avoid feeling? Getting to the root emotion, no matter how painful or embarrassing is the key. I know this process will demand that I be deeply honest with myself and let me tell you, I’ve had major anxiety already this morning as I began skimming over my day and noticing where my sticky places will be. Witnessing my habits and choices this week through the eyes of compassion, instead of the eyes of judgement is a must. Self LovE and deep deep DEEP belly breathing.

Doesn’t that sound fun?! Wanna join me? Slow down a bit this week and observe. Begin by writing out a few areas of your life that you want to investigate. Food, the way you dress yourself, the way you communicate with others, any compulsive behavior such as shopping, alcohol, over eating, smoking…. you get the idea. As you switch from one activity, appointment or conversation throughout the day, simply pause and ask yourself “am I acting out of LovE or fear?” If you find that you are acting from a place of fear, close your eyes, take a deep breath and ask yourself “what is the deeper emotion that I’m trying to avoid feeling?” Listen to your intuition, don’t judge, just listen and observe. Now, get out your phone and take notes on what has come up for you. Just the awareness alone is a HUGE step. You are making the subconscious, conscious. We cannot begin to make healthier, more loving choices until we shine some light on the darker, unknown places within.

If we can pause and bring some awareness to our every day choices, we then allow a bit of space for examination and a new possibility, a more loving choice to emerge. We actually interrupt the normal programming in our brain and allow for new neuro pathways to form. YES, WE POSSES THAT POWER WITHIN US!

This isn’t an easy process, but it’s worth it. It’s time that we begin creating our lives from a place of LovE instead of being run by the old programming of fear. Let’s become the LovE in the world we want to see.


  • Very good advice! What you are practicing is Mindfulness. I learned about Mindfulness from my yoga and meditation classes. I am convinced that Mindfulness is vital for people to learn so they can make better choices they are happy with and treat other people better. Mindfulness requires slowing down, paying close attention to what we are doing and saying (no split attention!) and appreciating every moment. Mindfulness also leads to what I call “heart-fullness”, because when you care enough to be mindful, you are also being “heart-full”!

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