During a very exhausted moment the other day I was feeling deeply down on myself. I was experiencing a loop of self defeating, judgemental thoughts, contracting my body in shame and fear and draining every bit of energy I had left from my already exhausted form. I began to lay down and breathe and what came to me loud and clear was “soften.”

As I began to intuitively soften through the meditation I share below, I started to experience a spaciousness, a gentleness in my body and mind that was totally inaccessible before this practice. It changed my whole day!

Even though I was still feeling remnants of shame, fear and overall just not good enough, I was able to return home to my fullness and remember who I really was, through breath and relaxing back into my true essence. I had created enough space within my body and mind to hold both the fullness of the truth of who I am and my limiting human experience. THIS is the full capacity of LovE. We do not deny any part of our experience, but we connect through them, past the limitations into the never ending well of the LovE that we are created from, that we are forever connected to because it is who we are.

As I head into my 36th year around the sun on August 28th, softening feels like a theme that’s desiring to be explored on a deeper level within this new year. I’m diving in and surrendering deeply. Join me?

Softening Meditation 

Come into a comfortable seated position or lie down on your back, arms comfortably along side the body, leaving a bit of space between the body and the arms, palms face up. Legs and feet relaxed, falling open and out to the side, however comfortable.

Close your eyes and begin to take slow, long, deep breaths in and out of the nose. Continue this for a minute or two in order to allow your mind and body to settle.

Continue to breathe and feel into your body. Where can you sense your body holding the most tension?

Direct your awareness to that space and send loving breath directly to that area.

As you breathe into this space, in the gentlest of internal voices, repeat to yourself “You are safe, I LovE you, it’s ok to soften.”

After a few times of repeating that phrase, as long as feels good to you and as you feel the space in your body begin to soften, you can continue to just repeat “soften” or “soft,” eventually letting the phrase fade away as you experience your body relaxing more and more into spaciousness and softness.

Pause for a moment relaxing into the new found spaciousness within your body.

Once again, feel into your body. Is there anywhere else you may be holding tension that speaks loudly and clearly to you? If so, continue the above steps with the new place that is asking for your LovE and attention.

After you have LovEd on all the places that are first calling for your attention, feel into your jaw, face, tummy, throat and heart. We hold an incredible amount of tension in these areas. Tension we may not even realize is being held in these spaces until we bring conscious awareness to them.

See if you can soften each area even the slightest bit, through repeating the same process.

If you come to find tension in the throat, feel free to exhale through the mouth a few times with sound. Whatever sound you like, just allow for sound to move through you.

Once the body feels spacious and soft, begin to soften the mind. Observe your thoughts as they arise. Whenever a self defeating, worrisome, negative or uneasy thought comes into view, gently say “soften” or “soft” and see if you can envision the thought becoming blurry and floating away out of view.

Relax into this new found spaciousness within your mind. Continue to breathe and repeat as thoughts drift into view.

As always, let your intuition guide you.

When you feel like you are ready to come back to Earth, simply let the practice go and gently open your eyes.

Without grasping or focusing on trying to make this feeling last, simply set the intention to soften throughout your day whenever you experience contraction in the body or negativity within the mind. Just simply say “soft” or “soften.” AND BREATHE!


  • I have to try this. Lately here I have a never ending amount of anxiety, stress, and just feeling overwhelmed. It has caused me to have moments of feeling useless and worthless. I hope this helps, it sounds like exactly what I need right now. Thank you for posting, you are the best xx

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