Celebrating The Journey Of Stepmotherhood

Transitioning from an ego driven, self centered and indulgent led life to a heart centered, all encompassing, or at least all considered and empathetic walk is a deeply humbling journey. One that ping pongs back and forth between the two, each time finding a more comfortable and surrendered place within the latter, lingering longer in peace and openness, and learning to make friends with the discomfort that accompanies that heart centered passage. 

There’s no where in my life that the dance of this deeply profound unraveling has been more present than through the journey of stepmotherhood. A dance I have fumbled my way through. At times, tripping over my own two left feet. For a while, searching for a place to plant those feet that had any resemblance of safety. Trying to grow up enough, heal my own pain and gain my equilibrium to be able to gracefully juggle all that blended family life demands. Getting the f@&! a hold of myself, my emotions, my insecurities in order not to project those onto my LovEr, stepchildren or their mother. It’s taken a lot of soul searching, empathy and compassion, not only towards everyone involved, but first and foremost, myself, and it’s still a journey I surrender deeper into every day. 

Stepmotherhood has made me a better human. I now understand how deep compassion and LovE can run when we step out our own way, out of our heads and into our hearts. It’s revealed to me my humanity, my shadow, my places in need of tenderness and integration. I’ve discovered my uniqueness as a woman and learned to own those pieces of me. It’s been a space where the idea of “Oneness” has been most evident, where I see how my energy effects the whole and how negative thought patterns and judgements, when truly released shift everything, even in situations when no one else in our blended unit has yet to find it safe to make those conscious shifts for themselves. All it takes is one person’s shift in consciousness to change the whole and slowly, with patience and consistent kindness, not the fake s@!t, but the kind where you surrender and let the divine flow through you, magic kindness, the real deal, hearts open. I’ve had to learn how to unbar my heart, disarm myself and stand in the ring fully exposed, gloves dropped. I’ve been dancing this complicated, messy, rewarding, beautiful dance for almost 10 years now and although I would have made some different choices if I would have been able to access deeper, wiser and more aware parts of myself, I wouldn’t change a thing. I bow deeply to this journey, to those I am on it with. They are all some of my greatest teachers in this incarnation. Nothing in the life is perfect, especially blended family life, but we are all trying and that’s all anyone can ask for, willingness. We will make mistakes as we go forward, but I have made a commitment to return to LovE, always. And most of all, I am beyond grateful for my husband and the two sweet souls I have the joy of helping raise into soul-full men. 

Today on Stepmothers Day , and everyday, I celebrate all stepmoms and send massive amounts of LovE and support your way. Wherever you are on your journey, you are supported and seen. I know it may seem like the impossible dream for some of you, for your whole team to be in a room together without daggers flying, but don’t lose hope. It is possible! 

Boundaries are important. Let’s get real, you don’t have to do everything together as one big happy family, unless that’s what everyone involved wants. Sometimes, even the kids enjoy having their separate time with each family unit. Do what’s best for them first and foremost! We ask the kids what they desire and what they are comfortable with in certain situations and go from there. Open hearts, compassion, self awareness, a strong center only you can cultivate from within, all key elements to a calmer future. We all must calm the storm within ourselves first and then watch it be reflected in our outer world. I pray for calmer seas for all families. Family life, no matter what way you cut it is complicated and if you are so lucky to have one of those weird families that all gets along, good on ya! Lol TREASURE THAT 

For now, the rest of us will be over here doing our best and loving as deep as our hearts will let us go in every moment. Happy Stepmom’s Day! I LovE you all.

5 comments

  • Loved you when you were a young girl just starting out and thought you had the most amazing voice in all genres of music! And that is still true today, I tried going to Gruene in New Braunfels, Tx last month but due to illness and treatments I couldn’t ride that far
    ( 4 hours ) and deal with all the people in my wheelchair..it’s just alot to go somewhere…so I just still listen to your CD’s, old and newer! You still have the most amazing voice out there 😍💕
    I Love following you and watching your journey
    I wish you good health, much happiness and always keep smiling..it is beautiful!!
    Much Love, shandaburke@yahoo.com

  • LovE this!!❤️❤️ I am a Step- mom but have LovEd them as my own since jump!

  • I love your depth and willingness to persevere in LOVE. So much truth here..YES not the fake kindness… I too have learned so many lessons on this path as a Stepmom. Taking the high road and being loving towards their Mother has been hard at times however when I meet her with love and kindness it shifts the dynamics. Sometimes only for a minute 😉 My intention today is to continue trying to do this and to continue to pull myself away from ego. I don’t need to be best friends with her but I can shift my perspective of her with compassion. Thank you for the reminder. I think you are brilliant. 🙏

  • I am a Stepmom of 3 and 1 of my own. They are all grown adults now. Ups and downs for sure. It helps if you can get along with the Ex. Unfortunately we struggled with that part. But all is good with the kids now. Love all your blogs and how open you are about these issues. It’s not easy…it looks like you are doing an amazing job.♥️

  • Step-Mother is hard period because of all the inconsistencies. Raising a family is not easy. Just continue to know your best friend is right there, Eddie. Le, believe in your heart and keep trucking. You are doing great!

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