I started this blog in hopes of creating a space to connect with other like hearted souls and to show up and share in authenticity, my journey of healing and creating. I am so blessed to be celebrating Soul Of EverLe’s one year anniversary with you all this month and I couldn’t think of a better way to do so than to rawly share what I’m experiencing in my journey right now.
Lately, I am feeling completely out of balance, constantly it seems in the process of shedding old skin. I feel weighted down by sadness, jolted by emerging shadow and I am deeply desiring to fully step into all the places I have suppressed, but frightened of what that path may look like, what I may take a torch to in order to burn away what isn’t needed and find a deeper truth amongst the ashes. I’m tired and a bit frozen at the moment, unsure of what my next steps are. I used to be so afraid of this space between the knowing and the unknown, but these days, I understand that it’s part of the process when birthing new ideas or resurrecting forgotten parts of ourselves into the world.
It takes courage and tenderness, the courage part always being the easier of those two for me. I am learning to grant myself the grace of existing in this space as long as needed, not trying to rush through the discomfort and miss the magic and the lessons.
No matter where I drift off to though, the one thing that I always come back to is LovE. LovE forever calls me back, asking me to examine where I am blocking it from fully penetrating my heart, from where I’m withholding it from myself and others. What parts of myself am I denying and what parts of myself am I afraid are unlovable?
No matter where I turn the question and the answer always come back to LovE. It’s the umbrella that all of life exists under. Anytime we find ourselves free falling in this wicked, wondrous life, LovE is always there as the remembrance of the truth of who we are, we just have to remember to call on it. Once we call upon it, all we have to do is surrender and we will be guided. I truly believe this because I have experienced it time and time again.
Thank god my “calling upon it” reaction time has become much quicker. As I’m writing this blog, I can already feel the blood rushing back to my face and witness clarity just off in the distance amongst the fog.
I guess, sometimes the most loving thing I need to do for myself seems so insanely courageous that it paralyzes me to my core. I’m realizing true LovE demands the kind of courage found at the deepest depths of creation. It demands us remembering who we “damn” well are… we are LovE itself in human form.
Form that space, fear is dissolved and we trust in the flow of life. We know we can handle whatever comes our way in each and every moment because LovE is what flows through us and anything else is just a facade. So here’s to allowing LovE to cradle us in it’s womb and become a channel for it to flow out into the material plane through each and every breath we take.
I say a prayer every morning before my feet hit the floor, which is “I am cradled by a LovE which is beyond my thinking and I surrender to this LovE and it’s power”. It is a prayer from the heart of surrender and receptivity. And as I write that, I’m realizing that this prayer had brought me to this place on my journey, asking me to fully trust what is waiting just on the other side of fierce courage. I LovE you all and thank you from the bottom of my heart for continuing this journey with me on Soul Of EverLe.