It’s ok to not be liked. It’s ok to not be Loved.
This is my mantra these days. In fact, it’s more than ok, it’s freaking fantastic because it means I’m no longer in the throws of people pleasing.
As someone whose whole livelihood has been based upon the outside world liking me or not, this concept is one that has been a process to digest and expand into, and one I have to remind myself of on the regular, especially when I am stretching past my comfort zone and birthing vulnerable shit into this world.
Side note, what is a “comfort zone” anyway?
I’ve been pondering this because I’m not comfortable in most places in my life, these days especially. I feel like I’m standing on the edge of that so called “comfort zone” about to fall off the ledge at all times. Even more accurately put… I feel like I’m free falling into a deep dark hole with no end in sight! And I’m feeling ALL THE THINGS! It’s terrifying, exhilarating, fulfilling, life affirming… I feel ALIVE!
When we are living our life from a place of vulnerability, nothing feels “safe” any longer, but things do get incredibly expansive. What I’m finding is…
The TRUE safety then lies in knowing that I am being my most vulnerable, authentic self and the truth of that becomes my safe haven.
The safety lies in no longer abandoning ourselves!
Maybe the only true “comfort zone” is getting comfortable navigating discomfort? Otherwise that thing we call a comfort zone is really death and stagnation. There’s no ALIVENESS there, just survival.
Personally, I’m over just surviving, so I’ve been putting myself “out there” in new ways, ways that are incredibly vulnerable and that push up against every limiting belief I’ve ever had about myself. I’m revealing parts of me I’ve kept hidden, parts that have felt shameful, ugly and unloveable. I’m speaking out in ways that I know bring “consequences,” but I also have learned, silence hurts me and others way worse than any “backlash.” This new exposure, all the ways I am using my voice to express my truth, it’s happening all at once and very swiftly, which makes my tender heart flood with questions like… Will I be liked? Will “they” accept the totality of me? Will “they” like my art? There’s forever a piece of me that wants to be invited to the party, you know? A piece of me that deeply desires to be LovEd and accepted. Who doesn’t?
However, there’s a deeper desire to come home to myself, to stay true to my heart, to stay true to what my spirit is being moved to do and share. And with my deepest desire running the show, it looks like things are going to be uncomfortable for a while, but they sure will be interesting.
So, how uncomfortable are you willing to get? How vulnerable are you willing to be? What is one thing in your life you can reveal in order to free yourself from its power? What is one thing that you can say YES to that you are afraid of doing because a new side of you will be exposed? Where are you abandoning yourself in order to be LovEd?
I am so right there along side of you in this incredibly vulnerable journey! I LovE you. And remember…. It’s ok to not be liked. It’s ok to not be LovEd.