That’s been my mantra for the past several weeks. HEALTH FEELS GOOD. Say it with me… HEATH FEELS GOOD! TAKING CARE OF ME FEELS GOOD!
Now, how does that feel in your body. Take a moment and check in. Do you feel contraction or expansion? Do you even believe that statement when you say it? I didn’t for 38 years, so if it feels unfamiliar or like a complete lie, I understand.
So much of my life has revolved around illness or even better, for a good old reframe, disruptions in my system. Everything from psoriasis, depression, anxiety, dental issues, acid reflux… there’s always been something. And to be really honest, my belief around my body and the possibility of truly healing has been, that it’s impossible. And an even deeper honesty… I don’t know if I even believed I was worthy of health. I grew up with and around a significant amount of illness, so it seemed to me, that genetically I was doomed. And, there’s a lot of guilt I have held around being happy, healthy and well. There’s a piece of me that has believed, if my family is not happy, healthy and well then I cannot be happy, healthy and well and “leave them behind.” I’ve believed that my body is against me, which has kept me disconnected and at war with my vessel and let’s not forget about the belief that the healthy choices leave me feeling “left out” or like I’m missing out on life. I’ve carried those beliefs, and many I’m still uncovering, all of my days… but things are shifting.
Recently, through weekly therapy, I feel like I have been finally getting to the root of my pain and recognizing all the ways in which I have been living my life out of survival loops, or habits. We are all just a bunch of habits, really…. more on that another time. Just the feeling of getting to the core of things created a crack for light to get in. Something clicked and I began to get curious about the possibility of having actual physical health in my life.
Then, I was divinely guided to Dr. Judd Brewer’s new book, “Unwinding Anxiety.” We are currently recording the 2nd season of “Wholly Human” btw, and I’m so excited to have him on! There is a mindfulness app that you can utilize as a tool when working with his book that I have been engaging with over the past several weeks. One of the mindfulness practices is Loving Kindness meditation. I’ve worked with Loving Kindness meditation in the past and know that it’s powerful, but something about the exact phrases he used hit deep, especially the very last one. And after working with my mantra, “Health Feels Good” for the last several weeks, the last line of this meditation was once again, the most divinely guided phrase to break my heart open to a new possibility. In the meditation, I repeat the following…
May I be happy
May I be healthy
May I be free from inner and outer harm
May I care for myself joyfully
MAY I CARE FOR MYSELF JOYFULLY…
This was literally a WHOLE NEW CONCEPT for me.
What I’ve come to realize is that when we don’t LovE and respect ourselves, taking care of our vessel is a chore and void of any reward. How can we ever feel the benefits of health and care in a body that we view as less than and non deserving of LovE? Most of the time, the care we do give ourselves is out of fear. Fear that was imbedded early on by our caretakers or some societal fear we have all bought into. If you really take a moment to ponder this, you’ll most likely see that most of the time, our care doesn’t come from the intention of LovE! It’s a “have to” kind of situation, void of choice, respect, appreciation and JOY.
In a body that we are trying to constantly escape, one that may not feel safe, the only reward may seem like the unhealthy choices, because, why bother. And a lot of the time, we are trying to use the unhealthy choices as an escape from the painful feeling of being in the vessel we inhabit. We believe the reward of the unhealthy choice, that gives relief in the moment, but feels shitty after the fact is the better choice, but I’m here to tell you, it’s not and it doesn’t have to be our ONLY option. REMINDING MYSELF HERE TOO!!
Something interesting that I’m finding is that there’s a high that comes from taking good care of my body, mind and spirit. Just like the learned behavior of getting high from our escapism…. alcohol, drugs, shopping, junk food…. whatever your drug of choice… there’s also a high on the flip side, on the side of health and well-being. There’s joy! REAL LASTING JOY!
THERE’S LOVE! THE HIGH IS IN THE LOVE, MY FRIENDS.
Honestly, a switch has flipped and I am in LovE with ME! Ever since I and me have fallen in LovE, taking care of my vessel is a joy! In my experience, and I believe in most of ours, the LovE I speak of is the missing piece to real health, to desiring to care for ourselves, not out of habit or fear, but pure joy. We all deserve health… mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially… all of it!
It’s time to explore our stories around what’s keeping us in the loop of dis-ease. What is keeping you from health? What stories are keeping you from loving YOU? What stories or beliefs have been passed down through your lineage about health? What is one small step you can take towards caring more for your vessel? Can you get BRUTALLY HONEST with yourself about your overall health and wellness? Can you explore what it’s like to care for yourself JOYFULLY?
We have WAY more power that we realize when it comes to our health and well-being.
HEALTH FEELS GOOD!
I believe that these days. It has been a pathway for me to joy! I believe it is for you too! I LovE you.