Tears And All The Feels

I cry at everything. I mean EVERYTHING! I cry when I’m sad, I cry when I’m happy, when I can’t express my anger it comes out through my tears. I cry for others when I see them in pain or when they cry tears of joy.  I cry when I’m moved by music and when I’m onstage and lost in the power of my connection with spirit. And of course, I cry at any movie, happy and sad ones. There are certain movies my husband has banned me from or won’t even think about taking me to see because I end up contracting an emotional hangover for days.

All my life someone around me has tried to fix me when I cry or stop me from crying out of their own discomfort. At times I have felt like something was wrong with me. Maybe I was really depressed or my hormones were seriously unbalanced and that’s what was causing me to shed tears so often. The last few years, as I have uncovered many truths about myself through my spiritual journey and have begun to understand my gifts that have felt like curses all these years, I realize I am A DEEPLY FEELING BEING! That’s it! Could it be that simple? YES! And it IS a blessing and a curse, but these days, I am choosing to store it under the blessing file most of the time.

We are ALL deeply feeling beings, but some of us have cut ourselves off from being able to experience the rainbow 🌈 of human expression that is our birthright and what we are here on this earth to do….to FEEL. There are so many reasons why we become numb to or deny our feelings. We shut down from pain and trauma. We may have gotten in trouble as children for expressing ourselves and felt like we had to constantly edit out any uncomfortable, or highly charged feelings in order to receive LovE. We most likely have been taught that there is such a thing as “bad emotions” that we want to avoid at all costs such as pain, grief, sadness and anger and as a society, we usually turn away from anyone experiencing these emotions almost like they have an illness we will catch, when really, what’s most likely happening is that we can’t handle our own repressed emotions that are rising from being triggered in their presence. We have come to equate any kind of unpleasant or challenging feelings with unrelenting shame.

We hide so many pieces of ourselves from one another that we become strangers, even to those who know and LovE us the most. It’s an incredibly lonely place to exist from, especially when our hearts are desiring more than ever to be joined through authentic, profound connection. Hiding our true selves can end up becoming a never ending rabbit hole that can spiral quickly out of control and before you even realize what’s happening you are in the depths of depression, self sabotage and loneliness. So, here I am, writing this and hoping to bring forth into our consciousness just how important it is to FEEL. We can have our feelings and allow others to have theirs, everyone experiencing and holding a safe place for one another and allowing what needs to be expressed to be expressed. It’s time that we are taught how to express our feelings in a healthy way and hell, LET EACH OTHER CRY!

To hold in tears is to hold in energy that is needing to be released, but instead, when we fight them back we are shoving the energy back down to be stored in our bodies. I have learned to view tears as just that, an energy release, a cleansing. Sometimes my tears come in the moment because of something that is happening in real time. Sometimes old emotions that are ready to leave my body, surface and come through in the form of tears. Sometimes I have a reason for them and sometimes I don’t. I have learned to try not to put too much meaning into them, to not worry too much about the “why” but just allow them to flow. Often, I will feel heavy energy build up around my throat chakra, which for me is especially suffocating and the only way that it will move is from a good cry.

So, I think it’s time we reframe tears, especially for our children. We desperately need a new generation that is emotionally intelligent and it all begins with us being brave and bold, unraveling our old thought systems to be able to parent and teach from a new perspective. I have seen a major shift in my family and friends reaction to my tears when I have explained it to them as a cleansing and as energy moving through and out to create space for more joy. And when my stepsons cry out of frustration or anger, I’ve been trying to help them uncover and understand what underlying emotion they may be needing to express. Instead of trying to fix each other, we hold one another or allow space to move through it. Open hearted work requires us slowing down and being present with one another instead of trying to move on so quickly to a more pleasant emotion. This shift has removed any negativity that we have been taught to place on the act of crying out of the equation. Truly, it’s a relief for all. I have also learned to embrace my authentic emotion on stage or even in public places. I am not ashamed of it any longer, however I do like to preserve my makeup every now and then. ☺️ In fact, I have learned how to bond with others through my expression of such deep feelings. It’s all a part of what I do. I don’t just sing and perform, I FEEL and I hope I help others move into those deeper parts of themselves to feel deeply, right along with me.